Say whatever you want. If you need to, you can tell me it was a stupid idea to run out in the snow after playing with their tech. Just say something.
[He keeps his voice level, but he's pressing. He has to.]
It's not fair. You don't have to pretend it is.
[And, because he knows all too well how an Avenger thinks:]
It wasn't your fault. You know that, right? We weren't ready and it caught us off-guard. There's no blame here, Natasha. You hear me?
[Tony reaches out and puts a hand over hers, squeezing lightly. The guilt is all-consuming when it really gets going, and he can't let her get caught in that trap. She doesn't deserve it. Not for doing her best.]
[It isn't fair, but she tells herself she hasn't expected things to be fair since she was a child. It doesn't help. Tony covers her hand with his and she stays very still for a long moment, before finally turning her hand over to lace her fingers with his, squeezing tight. Almost clinging. When she speaks up again, her voice is very quiet, on the verge of trembling.]
I'm an idiot for falling, and he's an idiot for turning back instead of running.
[He answers her softly, moving closer to comfort her.]
You're both some of the bravest people I know. You're Avengers. He saved your life and you saved mine. There's nothing stupid about that.
[He hears the faint tremor threatening to come through in her voice and leans in, putting his free arm around her. Every now and then Iron Man is the experienced one. He breathes out in a slow sigh still holding Natasha to him.]
He would have never forgiven himself if you got caught instead. You can't ask us to leave you behind. It just isn't possible.
[Natasha finally just gives in, leaning into him when he pulls her to him and burying her face in his shoulder.]
Then you're an idiot, too.
[But he's right, and there's no heat in her voice. They're Avengers, teammates, but they're also family, which means no one gets left behind. Natasha wraps her arms around him, letting out another unsteady breath.]
[His voice is low and barely there. Just a half-spoken thought that doesn't need said. It's more impulse than anything to confirm back that he heard her. He holds Natasha against him, speaking the next part against her hair.]
[She says it quietly, muffled against his shoulder as she tries desperately to hold on to the last bit of her composure. He's making it really difficult, and she can hear her voice trembling. Natasha swallows hard, trying to keep the next part steady.]
He might not come back.
[But her voice breaks on the last word. It is her fault, as far as she's concerned, because if she hadn't tripped, he wouldn't have had to go back for her at all.]
[He doesn't give any indication of doubt. She doesn't need that from him. Tony just hugs Natasha tightly, trying to offer her whatever comfort he can. He's unable to give her complete assurance, but he tries to at least sound confident for her.]
[Is she clinging? She's clinging. She'd prefer for him to be honest with her. Later, she'll understand where he's coming from, not wanting to be negative when she's already so upset, but right now it feels like a worthless platitude. She's so frustrated, frustrated that everyone won't just let her deal with it the way she wants to, frustrated that everyone keeps telling her he'll come back, frustrated that this happened at all. She's lost friends before, and so many people she's cared about, but it's rarely so blatantly and inarguably her fault.
She sucks in a sharp breath, a stifled sob, and just shakes her head, a silent protest. Stop coddling her, Tony.]
[Nat deserves to hear nice things. Even if they aren't sure, they could be true. And she spends plenty of time being strong anyway. Tony doesn't think she has to be the only strong one.]
We didn't know that would happen. It wasn't anything we could have done something about.
[That's a lie. He knew.]
We know the Admin wants to keep us around for whatever she's doing. I don't think she'll let him go that easily.
[They screwed up, and Clint is dead because of them. That's something she's learned to deal with over the years, but it's much harder when it's your best friend. And it is a lie. He knew. They all knew. The idea that the Admin would know of a hacking attempt and not retaliate is ridiculous.
So, Natasha gives herself a second, just a second to let herself tremble and tighten her grip. Her breathing is ragged, and she knows she's crying, but she doesn't let herself sob again. Better to get her emotions out now than have them sneak up on her later.
After a moment or so, she finally pulls back, leaving one hand on Tony's arm and taking in a slower, steadier breath. She wipes her eyes roughly.]
[She's curling up on herself a little again, focusing on keeping her breathing steady as she works through that lingering impulse to start crying again. Natasha reaches for his hand, squeezing it briefly.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[He keeps his voice level, but he's pressing. He has to.]
It's not fair. You don't have to pretend it is.
[And, because he knows all too well how an Avenger thinks:]
It wasn't your fault. You know that, right? We weren't ready and it caught us off-guard. There's no blame here, Natasha. You hear me?
[Tony reaches out and puts a hand over hers, squeezing lightly. The guilt is all-consuming when it really gets going, and he can't let her get caught in that trap. She doesn't deserve it. Not for doing her best.]
no subject
I'm an idiot for falling, and he's an idiot for turning back instead of running.
no subject
[He answers her softly, moving closer to comfort her.]
You're both some of the bravest people I know. You're Avengers. He saved your life and you saved mine. There's nothing stupid about that.
[He hears the faint tremor threatening to come through in her voice and leans in, putting his free arm around her. Every now and then Iron Man is the experienced one. He breathes out in a slow sigh still holding Natasha to him.]
He would have never forgiven himself if you got caught instead. You can't ask us to leave you behind. It just isn't possible.
no subject
Then you're an idiot, too.
[But he's right, and there's no heat in her voice. They're Avengers, teammates, but they're also family, which means no one gets left behind. Natasha wraps her arms around him, letting out another unsteady breath.]
I screwed up.
no subject
[His voice is low and barely there. Just a half-spoken thought that doesn't need said. It's more impulse than anything to confirm back that he heard her. He holds Natasha against him, speaking the next part against her hair.]
It wasn't your fault.
no subject
[She says it quietly, muffled against his shoulder as she tries desperately to hold on to the last bit of her composure. He's making it really difficult, and she can hear her voice trembling. Natasha swallows hard, trying to keep the next part steady.]
He might not come back.
[But her voice breaks on the last word. It is her fault, as far as she's concerned, because if she hadn't tripped, he wouldn't have had to go back for her at all.]
no subject
[He doesn't give any indication of doubt. She doesn't need that from him. Tony just hugs Natasha tightly, trying to offer her whatever comfort he can. He's unable to give her complete assurance, but he tries to at least sound confident for her.]
no subject
She sucks in a sharp breath, a stifled sob, and just shakes her head, a silent protest. Stop coddling her, Tony.]
no subject
We didn't know that would happen. It wasn't anything we could have done something about.
[That's a lie. He knew.]
We know the Admin wants to keep us around for whatever she's doing. I don't think she'll let him go that easily.
It's okay to be angry. We screwed up. Both of us.
no subject
So, Natasha gives herself a second, just a second to let herself tremble and tighten her grip. Her breathing is ragged, and she knows she's crying, but she doesn't let herself sob again. Better to get her emotions out now than have them sneak up on her later.
After a moment or so, she finally pulls back, leaving one hand on Tony's arm and taking in a slower, steadier breath. She wipes her eyes roughly.]
I'm fine. I'm fine now. Thank you, Tony.
no subject
I don't think any of us are fine. That was terrible. I'm sorry, I should have been closer to you both.
I'm here for you, Natasha. We'll make it through this. I promise.
no subject
[She's curling up on herself a little again, focusing on keeping her breathing steady as she works through that lingering impulse to start crying again. Natasha reaches for his hand, squeezing it briefly.]
I know we'll get through it.
[It just massively sucks in the meantime.]
no subject
And we're going to find Clint one way or another. The Administrator brought us all here. We're going to get back home together.